The Cactus Empire (formerly Cactus Kingdom) is a theocracy under the rule of DukeofHoth, who serves the Great Cactus God. It is home to the notable Fieri family, the last known Guy Fieris on the server after the Fieri Massacre of July 2016. Though they have been technologically hindered in comparison to the other nations of Memeworld and as such heavily restricted on building materials and techniques, they make up for that with their strong relationships with the "Great Powers", Germania, Pumaslavia and the Illuminati Kingdom. They are also working on becoming more technologically advanced themselves, gaining new advancements in many fields with help from the previously mentioned powers.
History[]
2015-2016: Early History[]
After the Kingdom of Vynland and the great walled Illuminati Kingdom were founded in late 2015, DukeofHoth began building a small settlement outside of Illuminati, with permission from their leader. However, after the first appearance of the Great Cactus God, the Cactus Kingdom was officially founded, though without a name that stuck. It was called the Desert Cactiphate, the Cactiphate, etc, but the name Cactus King stuck after the other nations of Memeworld started using it (though it used the "western" term of King instead of the desert title Cactiph). The purpose of this nation was to dutifully serve the Great Cactus God and whatever it willed. Though they were well received by their eastern neighbors, the Vynns across the Floralis River were outraged that another nation formed so near to themselves.
A Temple was soon built for the Cactus God, and the small settlement grew. Houses were built on the premises, and immigrants started flocking to the new state. On February 8, at least five citizens ventured into an unexplored cave, but Duke became concerned when they didn't return. He tasked a rescue mission into the treacherous cave, and three of the villagers were saved. However, due to a lack of better technology, the last two had to be left. The February Tragedy is remembered to this day, and the Forgotten Cave was sealed with obsidian so that no other citizens will stumble into an ill fate.
Shortly after the Kingdom was founded, the Vynns claimed the desert coast to the Floralis River. However, the two Kingdoms were able to work out an agreement known as the Treaty of Cactulupe-Pendalgo (though it has been lost to time), which gave the Cactus Kingdom the land. After Billville was founded by the Illuminati Kingdom, they agreed to sell a majority of their walled city to the Cactus Kingdom. These developments greatly expanded the size of the Kingdom. It was also in this period that relationships started to be formed with nearby Sunflower Kingdom and Pumaslavia. Two small forts were established near the Vyn/Pumaslavia border, but were later destroyed by the then "Mad King" Pumaslam.
Over the next months the Kingdom flourished, with Vynn immigrants coming to the country, and the Guy Fieris becoming well known in the settlement. In addition, a new McChill's branch named McCactus was built, as well as Cactus Beach (formerly Kektus Beach until that word was overkilled by a scrub), which became the most popular beach getaway in Memeworld. In early June, a small parcel of land across the Floralis River was settled by the Kingdom and named Liber Land. However, it was only settled in hopes of a land trade with Vynland for their desert area "Florulpe".
On June 13th, the King of Pumaslavia, Pumaslam, went mad with power, and massacred almost the entire race of Guy Fieris while they were gathered in the Cactus Kingdom. Former allies turned into quick enemies, and hostilities were at an all-time high until "Mad King" Pumaslam was assassinated by a Pumaslavian, after which relationships began to mend. During the Cactus-Pumaslavian hostilities, the Billville Treaty was signed by the Kingdom and Vynland, agreeing to exchange Florulpe (later renamed Cactiland) for Liber Land. The King, DukeofHoth, also published the Cactus Reformation Act on June 16th amidst the hostilities, renaming the nation to the Cactus Empire, and declaring themselves as a stronger and more determined nation than they had been before, being pushed around by others such as Pumaslavia. After hostilities ended, the Amadi Obama Monument was built, and members of the Fieri family (well known Guy Fieris) were discovered and conservation efforts began.
2017-2019[]
In January 2017, yet another treaty was signed between the Cactus Empire and the Kingdom of Vynland, the Treaty of Parthia. It resulted in Vynland renouncing all the claims it had on the Spawn Desert, including Fort Bort which was, along with Vynland's desert territories, given to the Cactus Empire, and it also resulted in Vynland gaining control of the territory Duke's TNT Warehouse used to be on in Parthia and the moving of the Dukezilla statue 100 blocks away from its location back then. Negotiations over the treaty were very tense but finally the two sides agreed, albeit hastily: Penstubal had to quickly go and the treaty was only 1 page long in the end.
After that treaty was signed, the Empire continued to build and slowly modernize. The Cactiland National Park was built over the "Cactiland Wasteland", and opened in late January. Shortly after the opening, work began on terraforming "The Wasteland" between the Meme Monuments and Illuminati, which took quite some time. A zoo was built on that land, and after two months of work, the Cactus Zoo opened on April 8th and immediately was recognized by many as the best Zoo in Memeworld. Later on April 8th, the famous Cactus Museum received an expansion that was named the lilChillCat Art Gallery. At the end of April the McCactus building was destroyed to make way for a better building, which was completed and opened a month later. McCactus also sponsored the building of a brand new, larger farm on the outskirt of the Empire, which was completed around the same time.
The first flag of the Cactus Empire; now Standard of the Great Cactus God.
On Flag Day, June 14, 2017, Duke unveiled a new flag for the Cactus Empire, with the original remaining as the standard of the Great Cactus God. At the same time, the Empire's original farms were plowed for the last time and removed to make way for an innovative new project that was unveiled a concrete skyscraper, the likes of which Cactians had never seen. It was announced that it would contain the embassies for the other Memeworld nations. Meant to be a modern marvel and a sign of the Empire's modernization and technological ability, construction took a while to get off the ground while complex elevator technology was being developed. Construction later stalled completely due to uncertainty in the floor plans and many complaints about the new project, that despite its modern prowess, it was turning into an eyesore in the Empire; even partially complete it still looked like an out of place behemoth compared to all the other buildings.
So, the skyscraper sat abandoned with scaffolding around it for over two years, the eyesore of the Empire. Over those years, its neighbors to the west fell apart; the Sunflower Kingdom was occupied and slowly corrupted by the Skeleton Empire, while Vynland collapsed and fell into anarchy between the Toast Syndicate and the Skeleton Empire, both vying for control. Many citizens from both nations fled to the Cactus Empire, who received them with open arms. Despite attempts from both the Skeleton Empire and communist Vynn nationalists (claiming to be part of the Nice Order to overthrow the Great Cactus God, the Cactus Empire remained stable during this period due to its strong leadership and strong allies in Germania and the Illuminati Kingdom, which had also acquired Pumaslavia.
2020: Recent History[]
In February 2020, Cactiph DukeofHoth returned from a long journey with a wealth of new knowledge, materials and methods that were quickly spreading through Memeworld. Greatly inspired, he quickly set off to once again modernize the Cactus Empire, and potentially expand it for the many that still wanted to immigrate to the Empire from all over Memeworld. He began this quest by going over existing Cactus buildings and facilities, region by region, renovating and modernizing them using his newfound information and techniques. Though not a priority, it is expected that the embassy skyscraper will also be dealt with during the nation's renovation and expansion.
Timeline of important events[]
| Date | Event |
|---|---|
| Early 2016 | Founded |
| Early 2016 | Treaty of Cactalupe-Pendalgo |
| Early 2016 | Illuminati Purchase |
| July 2016 | Fieri Massacre; Billville Treaty |
| November 2016 | Birth of Dukezilla |
| January 2017 | Treaty of Parthia |
| June 14, 2017 | New flag unveiled |
States and locations[]
Cactiland[]
Cactiland, formerly called Florulpe by previous owners, became a state after it annexed by the Empire due to a trade with Vynland. Things to see in Cactiland include:
- Cactiland National Park- The Cactiland Annex took place in December 2016, and caused the annexation of the original land known as Cactiland. After it was signed, the Cactus Empire built a national park on it, to preserve its beauty and make it more useful for citizens.
- Cactus Embassy- A building pre-dating Cactiland statehood, the Cactus Embassy was built in Florulpe as the Cactus Kingdom's embassy to Vynland, and was paid for by their government. It was built with a unique style to also serve as symbolism. The building has remained vacant since Cactiland came under Cactus jurisdiction, and now mainly serves as another monument.
- Mr
Benis'Bepis' Restaurant- A restaurant built in Florulpe by Mr Benis the Iron Golem. After his disappearance, his son Mr Benis Jr. took over the business. It received a remodeling in later 2016, which included adding outdoor waterfront seating.
Cactulupe[]
After the Cactus Kingdom's annexation of Cactulupe and Pendalgo, the Kingdom built up the empty land of Cactulupe to become Memeworld's best beach at the time. Due to the beach and its community growing so large, there have been calls to make the state larger, either by adding land from the Wasteland territory, merging Cactulupe and Pendalgo into one state, or annexing nearby land from other states (Flavortown and Pendalgo).
- Cactus Beach- Formerly called Kektus Beach until that word was overkilled by a scrub. The beach and its surroundings take up the entirety of Cactulupe, including the beachfront, a volleyball court, shop vendors and a Loo. However, some would also argue that the Beach extends farther than the state, since waterfront housing and the nearby docks lie just past state lines.
Flavortown[]
Flavortown is the oldest and largest state in the Empire (though that may change when the Sarmatia territory gets statehood). It is also the capital of the Empire, being home to the Temple of the Cactus God. Things to see include:
- Amadi Obama Monument- Though typically non-Cactus God Monuments are strictly prohibited, an exception was made after faithful Cactus citizen Amadi Obama was slain in July 2016 by "Mad King" Pumaslam of Pumaslavia. It sits right behind Amadi Obama's voodoo shack, and they both serve as a memorial to an upstanding Cactus citizen.
- Community Outhouse- The first Loo of the land. Built near the sandstone hovels to accomodate an influx of new residents.
- Great Pit of Cactcoon- Declared a holy site by the Great Cactus God shortly after his unveiling, the lava Pit is used for Sacrifices and sanitary garbage disposal.
- Lil' Brant Statue (also known as the Baby Brant Statue)- Located on the former home of Dukezilla and the Scrub Embassy, the statue serves as a placeholder, or another irritation for Vynland. It is looking at Vynland's "Penservatory", with an outstretched arm reaching for "Papa Pen Sturu", and crying a salty stream of sadness that it can't be where it belongs (with Papa Pen Sturu). It received an addition after Brant became a communist revolutionary.
- McCactus- The Empire's branch of McChill's restaurant, built shortly after the company's foundation. It was completely modernized and rebuilt in May 2017, and was updated in early 2020.
- Temple of the Cactus God- The Temple of the Cactus God is the official Capitol of the Cactus Empire, and the home of the Great Cactus God. It has heavy security due to being the target of multiple terrorist attacks in the past. It is heavily used by the older generation of citizens, who firmly believe in the Cactus God's wisdom, but not so much by the newer generation, since it's not required by law to attend Temple services. Despite a renovation that greatly increased the Temple's seating in November 2016, it is rumored that the original Pyramid Temple will be completely destroyed and replaced by a more modern and luxurious building.
- Tosche Station- A simple railroad station built to connect the Empire to the Subway Station, once known as the hub and spawn connecting all of Old Isailand. Many citizens have proposed newer systems of transport, but these proposals have not yet been acted on.
Illuminati[]
The Illuminati Kingdom was founded before the Empire, and served as a basis for where the first citizens settled down. After Billville was built, the Kingdom sold a large part of their former land to their friends of the Cactus Empire, and that land became the modern-day state of Illuminati. It doesn't seem to apply to typical laws of nature, and is considered quite a strange place. Places to see include:
- Giant Oreo- Originally found in Flavortown, the Giant Oreo was moved to Illuminati using meme magic, as it seems to fit better.
- Illuminati Graveyard- The only cemetery in the Cactus Empire, where anyone who chooses not to be cremated in the Great Pit of Cactcoon is buried, or small memorials are built for well-known deceased.
- Mario's Ye Ancient Style Pizza- A branch of Mario's Ye Olde Style Pizza, with an ancient Egyptian theme. Considered the coolest restaurant in the Empire. Go check it out, and order something from Luigi Fieri!
- the most useless thing ever- Seriously, it's just a useless thing. Don't bother looking in there.
- The Polar Coaster- A small roller coaster dedicated to making sure you have a good time (thanks to meme magic).
- Santa's Cookie Shack- A small store where you can shop for Ho Ho Holiday Spirit (and cookies).
Pendalgo[]
Pendalgo is one of the smallest and least developed states, due to its small size. There have been calls to merge the states of Pendalgo and Cactulupe due to Pendalgo's small size. Places to see include:
- Docks- The Cactus Empire's docks, which were built shortly after the land was annexed. Though they are fine for small boats to dock in, nothing larger seems to be able to dock here. The lack of proper sized docks to serve water-based transport (such as passenger and product) seems to be a major deterrent to government funding into river-related projects, such as expansion of the river, or the docks themselves.
- The Fungeon, built and owned by Germania, is a bar and grill that once served as a prison. It is responsible for spilling what some claim to be hazardous liquid into the Floralis River, though Germania declines these claims. It also serves as an unofficial Germanian Embassy.
Sarmatia (territory)[]
Most of this territory was claimed by Vynland (and named Samartia) solely to annoy the Cactus Empire. After months of occupation, the land was liberated by the Empire with the Treaty of Parthia. It was renamed Sarmatia as a mockery of the original name, but it has already been stated that its state name will be something different, when it becomes developed enough. If it keeps its current land, it will be the largest state in the Empire. Places to see include:
- Bort Museum/Dukezilla- The former Fort Bort was built in mid-2016 by Vynland, but the land was given to the Empire with the Treaty of Parthia. Since Dukezilla also had to be moved 100 blocks from its location in Flavortown, it was moved to the top of Fort Bort, to tower over and watch Vynland with close eyes.
- National Meme Monument- A server-wide monument given to the Empire by Overlord RaspingLeech.
- Sandview Apartments- Modern living facilities for the residents of the Territories.
Wasteland Territory[]
The Wasteland Territory was claimed in Summer 2016, after the Cactus Reformation Act was written. Since then, some of the Empire's greatest entertainment hotspots have been built here, including:
- Cactus Museum of History, Vexillology and Art- The Cactus Museum of History and Vexillology was built in the summer of 2016, as a place to collect history about Memeworld, as well as the various banners found throughout the land. Duke wanted the building to be appealing, and different from the "bland" buildings he'd built before, so he had Mario_Rk help him build it and make it look good. Since opening, it has received many donations of items, and also many compliments for its style, being one of the best looking buildings in the Empire. It received an addition which opened on April 8th, 2017, known as the lilChillCat Art Gallery. The addition was made to accommodate the increased amount of donated paintings since the museum's opening. To reflect this change, Art was also added to the end of the museum's name.
- Cactus Zoo- The Cactus Zoo started as a project in January 2017 to terraform the terrible terrain of the Wastelands (hence the name) into something more fitting for use. After the terraforming was complete, a zoo was built, with both phases taking about two months. The finishing touches were added in April, and the zoo opened on April 8th to much praise. It also includes villagers with custom trades, which is something that was rarely encountered on Memeworld up to that point.
- Cactusgold's- The Empire's local coffee shop.
Gallery[]
Relationships with other Nations[]
Billville/Illuminati Kingdom[]
Germania[]
The Cactus Empire and Germania don't directly communicate unless it pertains to international affairs, with all other messages being relayed through The Fungeon. When discussing Memeworld matters, the two are often in agreement when it pertains to Vynland.
Pumaslavia[]
Vynland[]
Vynland is dead lol